Thursday, March 12, 2009

We are all old people now


Back when Camber and I were dating (oh, so many moons ago) we had an understood pledge—we went and did things.

We prided ourselves for not being one of those couples that sat around and did nothing but make out and watch movies. We had, we told ourselves, a "quality relationship." We had, as we would say, "quality time" together.

We were actually quite creative while we were dating, always thinking of fun things to do with each other. We went to art museums. We colored in coloring books. We wrote funny poetry. We played board games. We road aloud. We went on walks. We went hiking. We went biking. We went camping (scandal!).

And most of all, we promised ourselves (and each other) that someday—when we grew old, lined, and flabby together, and had tennis balls on the bottoms of our walkers—that we would not be one of those couples that did nothing but sit on the couch, watch TV, and argue about how we met.

NO! We would be adventurous. We would go out of doors. We would do things together! We would climb K2 at age 70!

And yet there are so many days when we both get home from work late in the evening. We stumble through the doorway, barely manage to cook up come macaroni and cheese with green beans, and have some version of this conversation:

"What should we do tonight, honey?"
"Well, we should do something productive. But I'm just in the mood to watch Monk."

And I know I'm not alone in this. Most (or all) of my married friends have had a similar experience. I guess while we're dating, we're all just really bad at knowing what marriage will be like.

So slip in the DVD, baby. Slip in the DVD. What season are we on, anyway?

We are all old people now.


  1. You did all those "quality things" because you subconsciously knew it would attract your mate. Because you're both so committed to marriage, you no longer feel the need to do stuff like that, natural behavior patterns emerge. I don't have any science to back this up, but I *am* science.

    Solution: If one of you pretends to cheat on the other, and you start to feel like your marriage is threatened, you will instantly have more energy to do fun stuff.

    Or, just hold out till you have kids. After a day of playing with them and cleaning diapers, Monk is a well-deserved break.

    Have fun getting old with the rest of us!

  2. Hmmm..."quality things" sounds more like an admirable attempt to stay busy and avoid temptation than anything else. Now that there's no temptation, there's no need to rush around doing crazy BYU student type things.

  3. Isaac,

    How are you? Long time no see. Fun to see your blog with you and your wife. I vote for THE Ohio State. It's supposed to be nice. I was born in Ohio, have cousins and aunts and such there. It's nice. But I have a friend who liked Iowa. Good luck. We enjoy Boston.

    Welcome to the old married-people club. I think working all day drains the youth right out of you. Yuck. Monk is a nice alternative. It's funny because now when we go do something fun (like we would when we were dating) its a BIG deal and we take a few evenings off to recover before we even want to do something fun again... We sometimes do fun things like reorganize the closet or something. Wahoo...

  4. Jessica!

    Goodness gracious me! I haven't heard from you in years. And what an odd place, in the comment section of my blog, to reconnect.

    I'm glad you're enjoying Boston, and your married life. And I'm VERY glad to hear that you and your husband are old fuddy-duddies like we are. It just happens so quickly.

    And ditto on cleaning out the closet. We like to fold laundry while watching Monk, while we swim in a sea of our wrinkled clothes that we done washing three days before.

  5. It gets a hundred times worse when you have a kid...

  6. Oh no no no! I disagree!

    Once you have children a wonderful thing occurs—you suddenly have the ability to live vicariously through them. At that point all useful activities can cease to function as you pour all of your heart and soul into your children.

    So what if you never made it onto that varsity sports team? Johnny will.

    So what if you never won your high school Ultimate intramural championship? Bob can do that!

    Once you have children, you never have to accomplish anything.

    Plus you can make them do the dishes. :)

  7. Yay for Monk!