Friday, February 17, 2012

Does anyone else think this is awkward?

Source: Susan Medina

This is two women shaking hands.


As a child, a great-uncle once chastised my older brother for having a wimpy handshake. "You should always have a firm handshake, son." Hearing this, I resolved also to always have a firm handshake, too (I was never one to be outdone by my brothers). 

So I pride myself on having a good, firm handshake. And I find that shaking hands with another person of similar standards is thoroughly...satisfying. Like giving a good high five. One that makes a nice echo. No one wants a sissy high five. 

And I don't want a sissy handshake. 

I've found that most guys have this figured out. Perhaps a firm handshake is a sign of manliness they don't dare neglect. A wimpy handshake says, "I have no upper body strength." What guy would admit to that?

Girls, on the other hand, have by and large failed in this arena. A firm handshake doesn't require bulging biceps, my friends, although I regularly see women hefting huge loads of laundry or their own chubby toddlers. Then they give offer a handshake like it's a wet spaghetti noodle. 

And I ask myself, why?

Perhaps girls are not meant to shake hands with other girls. In the end, I think handshakes were designed as a man's greeting, and women adopted it later as default. Maybe we should just hug. But can you hug the wife of some guy that your husband knows from business school that you are meeting for the first time?

I think high fives might be the obvious solution.

Except maybe the sissy handshake girls would also give sissy high-fives.


Hang on everybody


I just asked Isaac what he thought about sissy girl handshakes. His solution? "Maybe we should go back to kissing girls' hands when we meet them." 

Good. Something even more awkward for me to do when meeting another girl. Faced with that choice, I'd take a sissy handshake from a girl any day.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Isaac has a Man Cold

Isaac is sick today.

He has a cold. 

But not just any cold. 

A man cold.

What is the difference between a regular cold and a man cold? 

As Isaac puts it, "Women cannot fathom the amount of pain a cold can inflict upon a man."

Uh huh.

If you are a man, this video may not seem funny. It will probably just bring back back painful memories. Show it to your wife. She will laugh, but you may not understand why.

As for Isaac, well, he hopes to leave the couch by the end of the week.