Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My poor, confused body

I worked too many night shifts in a row last weekend.

Some of you scientific types may wonder, "What does that do to a person?"

I can tell you what it does to a Camber.

10:30 PM: Go to bed at the same time as Isaac. Oh boy!

10:30-2: Sleep happily.

2 AM: Isaac wakes me up by hitting my face while turning over (no hard feelings, dear). My stomach starts growling.

2:30 AM: I am still WIDE awake, and my stomach is STILL growling. Really?

My stomach thinks it's dinnertime.

2:35 AM: I grudgingly crawl out of bed and yes, eat dinner.

3:00 AM: Still wide awake. And reading every blog in creation.

5:45 AM: My body is finally ready to think about going back to sleep.

6:30 AM: My body actually gets around to going back to sleep.

11:20 AM: I wake up almost 13 hours after going to bed.

Please, think twice before deciding to have chest pain at midnight. Think about your nurses.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

What do nurses do when they get sick?

They wish for cloning to be real.

2 Reasons:

1) I'm pretty sure that I would be my own favorite patient. I can get myself to the bathroom, I can self-entertain with a DVD player and a good selection of Disney cartoons, I don't require a bed bath, and I would never, ever let my relatives call and ask incessant questions of the nurse when she's trying to take care of other sick people. Also, I already like myself, so I think that's a big plus.

2) I'm pretty sure that I would be my own favorite nurse. I'd bring enough morphine and phenergan to guarantee 8 hours of solid sleep without pain or nausea, and I'd tuck myself in and say, "Hey, Camber, you're an awesome person and I'm sure you'll pull through this." And then I'd take care of the kitchen and cook Isaac dinner and scrub the toilets to boot.

As it was, my patient and nurse selves had to coexist in one body, and the patient won out. So I spent the afternoon on the couch, emerging only to crawl on hands and knees to the DVD player to change the movie. And my nurse self never got around to cleaning the kitchen or making dinner. Oh, and she also forgot the Morphine. I feel jipped.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Halloween is for kids...mostly

Isaac and I are both past our mid-twenties. We both have college degrees. We pay bills and are responsible people.

But we still voluntarily regress in maturity every year at about the same time:


Take our pumpkin-carving: Still elementary. Our pumpkins have not progressed in sophistication since about third grade:

Our costumes: Lacking grown-up refinement but very fun.

And our awesome neighbors, the monkeys:

They spent $2 on the adult monkey suits. Jershon and Shelly, if we ever grow up, we want to be as frugal as you are.

And last but definitely not least, Isaac and his teenage haircut:

Sorry ladies. He's taken.