Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Note to self

Dear Camber--

When you draw blood on a patient that's terrified of needles, a good thing to do is put the blood tubes in a secure location. Like your pockets. Or a baggie. Or the table. Or on your clipboard. Or on the patient's bed. Or on the floor.

Basically anywhere but the sharps container, because that is the one place from which you CANNOT get them back. Wearing gloves and trying to dig around in the sharps with a long metal object while her husband holds the flashlight is not only fruitless, but also looks very, very sketchy.

Best regards,

P.S. You should also keep in mind that it is never a good idea to give an enema to someone that is upright, even if she refuses to take it lying down. In fact, this is always a bad, bad, bad idea. Every time.

P.P.S. Should the unthinkable occur and you perform both of these forbiddens on the same rotten day, please, please try not to do them to the same unfortunate woman.