Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Angelic sustenance

Okay, enough serious talk about graduate school. I want to talk about peanut butter.


There are a few substances available for nourishment which are of such superior deliciousness that the label "food" is entirely inadequate. Food is something you use to sustain life and prevent starvation. Gruel does that. No, some things deserve a more exalted name, like "Nectar of the gods," for liquids at least. Peanut butter is one such substance. It isn't just a food. It's a spiritual experience, uplifting one from the terrestrial realm of animal-like survival instincts to a level of refined, angelic enjoyment. Such an experience ought to be savored and revered as a culinary joy indicative of the feasts to come in heaven.

Being the spiritual person that I am, I take a natural affinity to peanut butter. Often while indulging, I can hear heavenly choirs and bask in angelic ministrations. But why should I be the only one? Anyone can experience the promotion of ordinary, telestial foods to a celestial feast of the gods by the mere addition of peanut butter.

Need some suggestions? Many spiritually impaired people can only imagine peanut butter's usefulness in PBJ's or Reese's peanut butter cups. But peanut butter can bring joy to so many foods, like...

-Celery stickscold-stone
-Better yet, peanut butter and banana sandwiches
-Oatmeal (healthy food will never be the same for you again)
-Ice cream. Your boring vanilla can become cold, creamy magnificence with the addition of peanut butter.
-Graham crackers (I think I just heard a harp playing)
-Oh! Even better! graham crackers and honey!
-Frosted Mini Wheats
-Pickles (well, this is a rumor. I hate pickles, so I refuse to support the industry by buying them just so I can try them with peanut butter)
-Chocolate or vanilla pudding, and
-Chocolate chip cookies

Peanut butter lovers—has anyone found another winning combo? I'm always looking for another chance to eat the stuff. Please, share!


  1. While I entirely agree with your characterization of peanut butter I think it raises an important theological question; namely, what do you call peanut butter tainted with salmonella bacteria? The sustenance of fallen angels? Adding peanut butter to a banana milkshake is delicious by the bye.

  2. Peanut butter and Nutella on grahm crackers! Yum....

  3. Peanut Butter gets worse the more things you combine it with. It also decreases the quality of those things. For example, plain peanut butter is pretty good. Peanut butter cookies are worse than cookies and worse than peanut butter.