Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I've got a man cold

The horror all began yesterday.

It began as any normal day would. There were no warnings, no early signs—nothing to prepare me for what was coming.

It was like being in a B-movie horror film, in a manufactured life where everything is almost normal, while one small overlooked detail reveals to the hero (and to the audience) that something is just not right. For me that small detail began a prolonged journey somewhere near my nasal septum and slowly—oh, how slowly!—crept its way down my nasal passages. It slowly gained in strength, until what began as an imperceptible particle became an itch; until the itch became a sniffle; and until the sniffle became a gigantic mass of mucous, crawling down my nostrils until it paused like a diver on a board, and then dripped onto my desk.

I stared at it.

I wondered.

I realized—

I was coming down with a cold. Panic set in, and I quickly called my wife to inform her that I only had a few moments to live. She tried to calm me down with some "it's-just-a-cold" talk, but we men know better. Colds are demons. The slightest sniffle can relegate the strongest of men to the couch for days on end, with nothing to do but catch up on TV shows, and nothing to eat but chocolate milk shakes.

Colds, apparently, do not affect women as they do men. I know this because women simply do not understand. And, to illustrate (nay, prove!) this point, I have documentary footage below.

I pray I'll recover.

P.S. My nose just dripped again.


  1. I'm offended you think that men are wusses when it comes to colds! I never let getting sick stop me from doing anything!

    But that movie was funny..

  2. Oh my gosh, SOOO true!

    My husband always acts EXACTLY like this when he's sick! And then when I'm sick he's like, "What's the big deal??"

    Sorry about your "man cold". Feel better soon!

  3. OK guys, fess up. We all know we act like this. We're macho and strong, but the moment a small virus get's in our system BAM we're on the couch, out for the count.

    I'm man enough to admit that I do this. Are you?

    Good luck Isaac. Get better. you can beat this thing.

  4. I have to agree, my boyfriend always does this too! He's great but when he gets sick I suddenly have to have a never-ending supply of soup to help him out.

    Loved the movie!

    Get better!

  5. Thank you. I'll update you with my progress as I go along. :)

  6. Oh come on! You know you do it, too. Just man up and admit it. Men are strong, but viruses are stronger.

  7. Vicks Vapor rub = :) for man with drippy nose.

    Your nose seriously DRIPPED onto the desk? GROSS.

  8. Oh yes, it dripped.

    I was just minding my own business when, before I knew it, there it was on the desk in front of me! I was left to ponder how such a thing could have escaped from me without my catching it.

    Such is life.