Sunday, May 5, 2013

First Child Syndrome

The other day my mom told me about an old saying, "Every old crow thinks hers is the blackest."

I had asked her if all parents think their child is adorable and brilliant, like I do Mary. At the moment Mary was playing with a dangling stuffed giraffe. Such dexterity! Such hand-eye coordination! I could sense her burgeoning IQ even as I watched.

You can't tell from the picture, but her movements were really quite nuanced.
Apparently an uncle told my mom the "crow" saying when she admiring her first baby. She was similarly convinced of his overwhelming cuteness. 

Yet even while I was pregnant I had difficulty believing that every single person in this world came from a woman that was pregnant. Surely it couldn't be that...common. I felt like I'd discovered this cool phenomenon other people must not know about. "Everybody!" I always felt like saying. "There's a miniature human being inside me RIGHT NOW and I can feel it MOVING!"

I've decided to call this First Child Syndrome. It also includes other features like copious picture-taking and obsessive binky sterilizing. 

Lesser known syndromes: 
Only Girl Syndrome--in which said only girl (er...ME) gets her own bedroom and bathroom, receives lax punishments, and is definitely her parents' favorite child,


4th Child Syndrome--in which the parents clean off the pacifier by letting the dog lick it and routinely forget where they left they keys...and the baby (sorry Justin).

Yet as a first-time parent, I've decided to embrace the inevitable, and so have documented some additional moments of brilliance: 

Holding her own head up.
My little prodigy.

Following the baseball game (go Reds).

Helping me win Mouse Trap. Yes, I'm the yellow guy.
Side note: winning Mouse Trap is PURE skill.

My parental pride knows no bounds.