We are all going to die

As many of you may have heard, the world is ending. (If you have not heard, I am sorry. While we're on the subject, you should probably know that Santa isn't real either. Sorry. A nifty map here will give you the appropriate level of panic.)

I know that many people are urging calm. I know that panic could be described as "irrational." But while there is certainly a time and place for rational thought, there is also a time and place for fear-mongering, panic, rioting, and general French-revolution-style pandemonium. THAT TIME IS NOW!

I know, I know, all of you are thinking: Whoa, Isaac! Calm down! It's just a flu virus that kills 6% of the people who get it. That's nothing to worry about. It's not like people are turning into flesh-eating zombies!

My response: REALLY? Have you guys SEEN I Am Legend? The government isn't going to tell you that everyone is turning into man-eaters! They're going to pretend that everything's fine, that Obama will take care of everything and even give you a back-rub, and that if you'll only help them buy bad bank assets the world will return to normal. (I'm onto you, Mr. President.)

But I know better. The end is coming. And since this is Swine Flu, it's probably going to be a lot like this:



See you at the aftermath. It was good to know you all. Let me know when you're dead.

You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore

Wise words from Jack Black...

All growing up my family and I would frequently go to Arches National Park on vacation. I think we picked this spot because it gave us easy access to places where we could toy with death (which, apparently, is my family's favorite pastime). There's nothing more fun or exhilarating than climbing to the top of a 200-foot sandstone fin, walking along the top (which is about 5-10 feet wide), looking out over the edge and thinking, Why did we come up here?

We went down to Arches again last weekend and had a great time. We did the Fiery Furnace (which is by far the best thing in the entire park), Devil's Garden, Sand Dune Arch (where we saw Jeff and Amy Parker of all random people and places), and Delicate Arch. It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures (click the thumbnail for a larger version):

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Longing for Easter ritual

I have to admit that I love ritual. When it comes to holidays, it is always cherished ritual that creates the special atmosphere. Take Christmas as an example. The most meaningful Christmas moments always come from the rituals we take care to perform each year: decorating the Christmas tree, acting out Luke 2, singing Christmas songs, etc. We humans use rituals to mark things that are truly important - things that are worth having a ritual for. We don't create rituals for just any old thing, we save them for those things which we feel truly matter. I suppose that's why Christmas means so much to so many of us - it's always packed with ritual.

This year as Easter came and went, it left me wondering where the Easter ritual is, specifically in LDS culture. The LDS Church itself has very little ritual associated with any holidays, so I don't really expect the Church to have official rituals relating to Easter, but I wondered why it is that Christmas seems so packed with ritual amongst those in our culture, while Easter passes by with little notice other than us decorating Easter eggs and hiding them for others to find.

The Catholic church has many Easter rituals (Lent, Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, lots of masses) which do appeal to me, but there's just one problem - I'm not Catholic. And I suppose my attraction to their ritual is more an attraction to ritual itself, and not to the specific rituals.

And so I was wondering, as Easter came and went, how to make Easter a more meaningful holiday for me and for my family. And it struck me: give it more ritual! Since ritual is a major part in our recognizing something as significant, if I give more ritual to Easter - and you could, of course, substitute "tradition" for ritual if that helps you understand it better - it will come to mean more to me and to my children.

So I think I will, beginning next year. And of course one of those rituals ("traditions") will be to dye Easter eggs every year. I enjoy it, so why not? We did that this year, had some friends over, and had good success. Below are some images for you to enjoy.

Dave Gravett and Merry Packard: aren't they adorable? They win "cutest couple" award.

The Easter-egg gang. From left to right: Marti and Jon Major, Dave Gravett, Merry Packard, and my beautiful wife Camber

The best egg of all: Mart Major did this one. While cooking the egg I accidentally cracked it, and some of the innards oozed out. Which, of course, if you're an art major immediately means that the egg has rabies and is foaming at the mouth. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

While dying Easter eggs is fun, I really am looking for more spiritual rituals to associate with Easter - which, along with Christmas, celebrates the most important event in our Christian religious history. So the question is, what types of Easter rituals can you add that are as enjoyable (as Christmas rituals often are) as they are meaningful? Any ideas from the crowd? Did/do any of you have any good Easter rituals?

Kite-flying

Have you ever noticed that there seems to be an entire class of activities that exist solely to give us excuses to be together without feeling awkward? (Man, that sentence is awkward.) What I mean is, there are so many things we do that alone and by themselves are good, but their true potential is only unlocked when they become the passive activity, and when being with and enjoying others becomes the active activity.

Pool, for me, is one of those activities. (When I say pool, I'm referring to billiards, not swimming. I enjoy swimming by itself.) I find pool very relaxing, but what I truly enjoy about pool is the way that the activity provides for me an excuse to be with and talk with others. Somehow sociality seems more easy and natural when our conversations are punctuated by "Who's turn is it?" and "Hey, nice shot!"

Dominoes, again is one of those activities. My friends and I used to go to BYU campus and play "Mexican Train" together for hours; but it wasn't about the game. That was only an afterthought. What we really went for was intense discussion about politics, poetry, school — and of course, women.

Now, I slightly hesitate to place kite-flying in this same category, because for me there is something innately beautiful and visceral about kite-flying. Nothing says "it's spring!" like flying a kite. And yet kite-flying fulfills its purpose during precisely that moment when the kites are high in the air, beyond the point where they need attention; when friends and family can lean back and carelessly and thoughtlessly manage the kite by the periodic pulling in and letting out of string; and when at that moment the conversation begins to flow, punctuated only by the flapping of the kite in the breeze.

Camber and I went kite-flying this evening with Sean and Catherine.

Girls are easy to please

I've been sick with a nasty viral takeover of the upper half of my body.

So Isaac surprised me with these in the middle of the day:

Now I'm sick but very, very happy.

Husbands, take note.

To defer or not to defer? II

The question has finally been answered. And the answer is....

(drum roll please...)

To defer!

This was a very difficult decision for both of us, but in the end we felt that it was the wisest thing for us to do. There are several things that went into the decision. I'll spell out a few of them below:

1. The most important consideration was padding my resume. When I talked to the admissions guy at BYU, he brought up a good point about this. He said that when I finish my MBA, wherever I go, I will be competing with classmates for jobs. And when recruiters come to campus to interview people, one of the only things that will differentiate candidates will be prior work experience. And it will only make it easier to find a job if I have an extra year to pad my resume.


2. Another consideration is the economy. Right now the economy is terrible, as we all know, and it's anyone's guess what it will be like in two or three years from now. But, statistically speaking, it's much more likely to be good in three years than two. Of course nobody knows, and it's a small gamble either way, but it's more likely to have recovered three years from now rather than two years from now.


3. Finally, Rapid Intake (the company I work for) offered me a great new position. I don't really want to go into all the details now, because that would take forever, but they're allowing me to take on a new project and and have full responsibility for it. This basically means that the extra year will pad my resume by giving it some variety, which is really good.

So that's what we're doing. To Jeff, Amy, Dan, and Katja in Ohio—I'm sorry we won't be joining you this year. But we still may next year! And to all of you tired of hearing about our MBA drama, you get a 6-month respite before it starts again.

The NeverEnding Crush

Have you ever experienced something that seemed so good at the time, only to revisit that same thing later to find that it just isn't what you remember? I remember having this experience with backpacking food. I mean, when you've starved yourself for hours, walked through miles and miles of Uintah mountains with nothing but banana chips to snack on, and then finally sit down to a satisfying meal of powdered chicken alfredo from the box, of course it's going to taste good. It's going to be the best pasta you've ever had in your life. But then if you try to eat it again two weeks later, it just won't be the same. Sigh. Some good things just can't last.

But some can! Camber and I recently re-watched The Neverending Story. I hadn't seen it since I was very young, so I was naturally worried. I loved it when I was a kid, and the last thing I wanted was to find out that really, in the end, Falcor looks stupid (he's not bad), that Atreyu is a terrible actor (he's not), and that the Empress isn't hot (no comment). I've had some bad experiences lately watching movies I used to like only to realize they're terrible movies.

(Side note: Hoosiers is not as good as you remember. But Rudy is.)

So I was pleased to find that The Neverending Story is about as good as I remember it: a great film for kids that adults will actually enjoy. And of course it was fun to relive the excitement from years past. I leapt for joy when I heard Atreyu agreed to help the Empress; I only cringed slightly as Falcor and Atreyu flew by a bunch of obvious green-screen landscapes; and I of course almost wept when Atreyu's horse, Artax, succumbs to the sadness of the swamp and slowly sinks into it, and dies. (I also almost wept during that sad scene when the Rock Biter keeps saying, "They look like big, strong hands, don't they." Man...)

But nothing was so satisfying as reliving my young crush on the beautiful Empress herself. All you guys out there know what I'm talking about. The Empress was a cultural phenomenon for boys of my generation. That fox stole the hearts of us all. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about this lovely lady (and check out that head jewelry!):

I think it's safe to say: we had excellent taste back then.

Angelic sustenance

Okay, enough serious talk about graduate school. I want to talk about peanut butter.



There are a few substances available for nourishment which are of such superior deliciousness that the label "food" is entirely inadequate. Food is something you use to sustain life and prevent starvation. Gruel does that. No, some things deserve a more exalted name, like "Nectar of the gods," for liquids at least. Peanut butter is one such substance. It isn't just a food. It's a spiritual experience, uplifting one from the terrestrial realm of animal-like survival instincts to a level of refined, angelic enjoyment. Such an experience ought to be savored and revered as a culinary joy indicative of the feasts to come in heaven.

Being the spiritual person that I am, I take a natural affinity to peanut butter. Often while indulging, I can hear heavenly choirs and bask in angelic ministrations. But why should I be the only one? Anyone can experience the promotion of ordinary, telestial foods to a celestial feast of the gods by the mere addition of peanut butter.

Need some suggestions? Many spiritually impaired people can only imagine peanut butter's usefulness in PBJ's or Reese's peanut butter cups. But peanut butter can bring joy to so many foods, like...

-Celery sticks
-Apples
-Bananas
-Better yet, peanut butter and banana sandwiches
-Oatmeal (healthy food will never be the same for you again)
-Carrots
-Ice cream. Your boring vanilla can become cold, creamy magnificence with the addition of peanut butter.
-Chocolate
-Raisins
-Oreos
-Graham crackers (I think I just heard a harp playing)
-Oh! Even better! graham crackers and honey!
-Frosted Mini Wheats
-Pickles (well, this is a rumor. I hate pickles, so I refuse to support the industry by buying them just so I can try them with peanut butter)
-Chocolate or vanilla pudding, and
-Chocolate chip cookies

Peanut butter lovers—has anyone found another winning combo? I'm always looking for another chance to eat the stuff. Please, share!

To defer or not to defer

That is the question.

At least, the most recent question.

As the newest part of our MBA school drama, we've added the possibility of deferral to our mix of possible options. (Isn't it great? By next week we'll be considering two more things that had never crossed our minds before!)

Deferral hadn't entered into my thinking at all until I met with the admissions guy at BYU earlier this week. After he told me that I had been accepted into the program, he said if he could give me one piece of advice it would be to defer for a year.

The reason I would possibly do this is to give myself more time to gain work experience before starting my MBA. Companies that recruit MBAs like to see that you have a lot of valuable work experience before your MBA, and taking another year off would really beef up my application.

The nice thing, too, is that all three of the schools can hold my spot for me for one year, so I don't have to go through the whole admissions process as well. There's a small chance that I wouldn't receive as good of scholarships next as year as I would this year, but I think the chance is small. (At least, the schools have told me that the chance is small.)

There are several advantages to deferring. First, I do like my job, and a small part of me would enjoy having another year here to accomplish some great things. Second, we would be able to save more money. Third, we wouldn't have to move—yet. Etc.

There are big disadvantages, too, the largest of which is that we would wait an entire year before starting a program.

We're very torn right now, but we're taking our time with the decision and hoping to make the best decision possible. I'm sure, in the end, we'll make a good choice. For now all of you can enjoy our little drama (at least the parts we blog about).

Whither? II Ctd.

Believe it or not, I actually have a quick update already!

BYU called me this morning and asked if they could interview me today. I went in around 11:30, and to make a long story short, they accepted me into their program!

I actually have mixed feelings. On one hand it makes my decision more difficult, because I now have a third good school to choose from. On the other hand, that's not a bad dilemma to have, so I should probably just shut up and make a choice. That will take a few days at least, however.

We'll keep you posted.