Thursday, November 11, 2010

What do nurses do when they get sick?

They wish for cloning to be real.

2 Reasons:

1) I'm pretty sure that I would be my own favorite patient. I can get myself to the bathroom, I can self-entertain with a DVD player and a good selection of Disney cartoons, I don't require a bed bath, and I would never, ever let my relatives call and ask incessant questions of the nurse when she's trying to take care of other sick people. Also, I already like myself, so I think that's a big plus.

2) I'm pretty sure that I would be my own favorite nurse. I'd bring enough morphine and phenergan to guarantee 8 hours of solid sleep without pain or nausea, and I'd tuck myself in and say, "Hey, Camber, you're an awesome person and I'm sure you'll pull through this." And then I'd take care of the kitchen and cook Isaac dinner and scrub the toilets to boot.

As it was, my patient and nurse selves had to coexist in one body, and the patient won out. So I spent the afternoon on the couch, emerging only to crawl on hands and knees to the DVD player to change the movie. And my nurse self never got around to cleaning the kitchen or making dinner. Oh, and she also forgot the Morphine. I feel jipped.


  1. I'm sorry you're sick! Get better soon!

  2. AHHHHHHHHHH!! It spreads across the continent, too! Right now every single member of this family, INCLUDING those in other states apparently, has taken ill. Or take rounds of illness. You're up, and then you're promptly back down after taking care of others who are in their "down" stage. Let me please give you a list of my favorite hobbies today that I perform so artfully:
    1) I am an expert at curling up in a ball on the carpet.
    2) The porcelain bowl and I have devoleoped quite a delightful and steadfast acquaintance.
    3) Repeat, after brief respite.
    As one who has performed so dutifully in this area, I heartily recommend Popsicles. And movies. And a husband to take care of you (which I lack!).