Thursday, March 14, 2013

Disillusioned

I frequently hear, "Oh, being a nurse must help you so much in parenting!"

I used to think that myself.

Then I had Mary.

And I learned that 5 1/2 years of working in the hospital with adults has done little to help me prepare for a child. My illustrious nursing repertoire includes some incredibly helpful skills, such as

  • Making a bed with a 300-pound person in it
  • Convincing a grumpy old man that, indeed, it will be fun to get up and walk after his heart surgery
  • Getting a confused elderly woman to take her pills (hint: use applesauce)
  • And, convincing the same woman that I am not, in fact, the devil incarnate
It has been a bit of a let-down to realize that, so far, Mary does not require the use of any of my adult nursing prowess. She is 11 pounds, not 300, and has not yet had heart surgery. 

I have also learned that my training in pediatrics from nursing school and grad school has done nothing but provide fodder for the imagination. All parents worry, but my worries have names like Hirschprung disease and diabetes insipidus and ARDS. 

You'll notice that my list of nursing skills above does not include solutions to unanticipated quandaries like
  • How do I cut her fingernails without pinching her skin? (Yup, did that)
  • How do I get her to like tummy time?
  • What do I do about flailing while breastfeeding? (she flails, not me)
  • Why does she only poop once a week? (I assure you, this is a crisis with adults)
  • And, why do I watch her shots with tears in my eyes when I have unflinchingly doled out thousands of them in my day?
Next time, I'm majoring in something else. 

But, before I go, here is a month of Mary. In pictures.










13 comments:

  1. hahaha! I was just imagining you flailing while breastfeeding. It's funny thought. I can totally relate to this post! (not the flailing part though, sorry!). People often say to me, "Oh it must be so nice to have a doctor for a husband!" Well, it is and it's not. He doesn't do it so much anymore, but he used to freak out about EVERYTHING. It kind of made me feel like a bad mom sometimes because I wasn't really worried about Oakley when she had a little rash or cough or something. Should I be freaking out too? Usually the answer was no. So, it's normal. But it will pass. Dave has now adopted my less worrisom parenting style, I think. Is that a good thing? Maybe not. You're a great Mom and Mary is an absolute doll! I love the pic of her next to your cat. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm gonna be honest... That's one BEAUTIFUL child you've got on your hands! I mean, it's okay to admit the fact that we've all seen babies that were the type "only a mother could love". But yours? No way, no how. She's a beauty! And the best part? She has awesome parents...who are winging it, just like the rest of us :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think that constant worrying starts the minute you find out you're pregnant and happens for the rest of forever - (though some of it is in the back of my mind while other times it consumes my thoughts). Welcome to motherhood... I would say parenthood... but Jershon seems to be far, far, far less worrisome than me when it comes to parenthood - or anything in life for that matter.

    Mary is a doll.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love it! She is so beautiful!! I love her! I wish I could hold her! And it's good to hear I that even seasoned medical veterans like yourself still worry about normal mom stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awesome post. She is such a pretty baby!

    I think my skills as an oral surgeon will help a few times (starting at age 6 with that first loose tooth). It will also help my children fear me!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Camber! Every time I read one of your posts, I re-read to Kyle at night to show off how witty you are! Love your blog, love your Mary, and love you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. She is beautiful! Looks like you two are doing a great job! It's scary being in charge of another life, especially when that life starts out so small and helpless. I have no doubt your inner "wonder woman" shines as you add motherhood to your list of accomplishments. Maybe we should exchange autographs :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is so true. People automatically assume as a nurse you kniw everything about being a parent. Not true! I think it just makes me worry more. My mind always goes back to the worst caae scenarios you learn about in school. As far as I'm concerned all it did is make me a worrier! Mary is so cute!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mary is GORGEOUS! And yes, I know exactly what you mean. People always say the same thing. Well, my nursing skills didn't really come in handy this week when he broke his arm (what could I do?!?) or when he knocked out his tooth. And I still haven't been able to cure Xandir's rash he's had for months despite doctors' prescriptions. And I remember the time I rushed Amri to the hospital, sure she had meningitis when she couldn't move her neck up and it was stuck looking down--and it was just a stiff neck (in all fairness, I took her to the doctor first and SHE told me to go to the ER as well.) Yes yes, names for possible worrisome thing. Sometimes I feel like telling people, "Well, yes, when my son needs an IV my nursing skills will certainly come in handy!"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Camber, keep the two-a-day posts coming! :) they're great!! Somehow even having had working peds experience hasn't been helpful for me!! It's only made me excessively paranoid about RSV!! I kind of curse this degree if mine sometimes, haha!! I love reading your blog and relating. PS your daughter is sooooooooo cute!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a little cutie! You did a good job of catching her when she was making a face-- little babies seem to spend an awful lot of time just looking dumbstruck....

    Neurosis is pretty normal for this part of life, but it really does get better. SOOOO much better. They get bigger and sturdier and you can go out and do things with them.

    Working at the veterinary hospital seemed to be pretty good preparation in retrospect. Baby poop you just have to clean up-- it's not like dog or monkey poop where you have to look around for things moving in it or keep it under a fume hood so it doesn't give you herpes B and kill you. Any diseases you learn about there that people can get are either just annoying, or they kill you in about 12 drama-filled hours so there isn't really anything where just sit. there. and. wonder.....

    -SKT

    ReplyDelete
  12. She is beautiful Camber! Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh my gosh she is sooooo adorable. I seriously squealed when I saw your pictures. SOOOOOO cute.

    ReplyDelete