Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Decisive. Sort of.

I have been reluctant to write this post. 

The long and short of it is, I have FINALLY made a decision about school

My reluctance to write comes partly because I knew that, whichever way I chose, approximately half of my readership would secretly disagree with my decision. 

And my reluctance comes partly because I know that, whichever way I chose, approximately half of my brain would secretly disagree with my decision.

Pathetic? Yes.

But I, despite my pathetic indecision, have decided to go to school

Why did I decide this? 
1) I feel like it's the right decision for me.
2) My school is unusually flexible, allowing me to switch back and forth from full- to part-time as needed, and requiring only that I take at least 1 credit hour per semester to remain in the program.
3) I truly believe that going will bless not only my life, but also my family and other people around me. I believe that it will increase my capacity to do good in this world.
4) I feel like it's the right decision for me.
5) I was tired of the daily meltdowns from the indecision.

Could someone in a very similar situation to me face the same dilemma and make the opposite choice? Yes, and I'm sure it's happened many times. That's partly why I hated making this decision so much. I'm the girl that loves multiple-choice tests, not essays. I want the answer to be right or wrong, no arguing an absurd opinion (sorry English majors). 

Did I decide to do this because I think being a stay-at-home mom is a waste? No, I sincerely hope not. In fact, I read a really great blog post by a friend that almost made me change my mind about school, because she talks about how it is okay to stay at home. And if my sole reason for going to school was because I felt like staying home wasn't enough, that it was a waste, then I would be going for absolutely the wrong reasons. I believe that is absolutely the wrong idea to have about motherhood. 

I love and respect many, many women that have made tough choices about careers and education and decided that for them, the best decision was to stay at home, at least for now. 

Yet, because my program is so flexible, I don't think that becoming a mother, and trying to be a good one, and going to school, have to be mutually exclusive. 

After I had made my decision, and was still thinking daily "Maybe I shouldn't go...but maybe I's not too late to back out..." I read a couple of articles from a publication by my church that offered a really helpful perspective to me and helped confirm the decision that I had made. One is an address directed at young women ages 12-18, and another is by an apostle (at the time) of our church to everyone. These reassured me that the things I'd been feeling and thinking about my decision were right.

That said, I've told my parents to check with me on the first day of class. To see if I actually went through with it. Because there's still time to back out...


  1. The most important thing is that you feel like it's the right thing for you and your family. You'll do great Camber. And bring on more baby bump pictures!!

  2. Way to go Camber...these are not easy decisions. I'm sure that you and your family will be blessed by your choice to go back to school! I will confess that I'm a bit jealous...I have been missing school for quite some time and am looking forward to returning eventually. Best of luck!!

  3. I love the part of Elder Eyring's talk entitled "God Knows What We Need to Know." This is so true.

    I'm glad that you've made a decision that feels good!

  4. Good for you! If it is right for you and your family then it its right! You are awesome and I an sure you made the right decision! One thing us certain, we have critics no matter what we do- but as long as we do what we know is right it really doesn't matter what anyone else says! Good luck girl! You are going to be an amazing Mom!

  5. Yay! Camber I've been waiting to hear about this decision of yours. Congrats! I think I secretly knew that you'd go to school. I just knew that whatever decision you made would be the right one. Miss you!

  6. Good for you Camber! Good luck with school! You will do so great!

  7. I'm a little biased...obviously...(I think I like to see other people doing things kind of like me so I don't feel so weird) but I think you'll make it work and it will be great!

  8. The world would definitely benefit from "Nurse Practitioner Camber." Go get them tiger!

  9. I think that's Awesome! You can be a fantastic Mom and Student at the same time.

  10. I'm happy you made a decision. And most of all--I am happy that you feel good about it! That's all that matters.

    Good luck and I know you'll do great.

  11. One credit hour? That's nothin! You can totally do this. Glad you made a decision.

  12. Glad you were able to make a decision. Hope you are feeling good and that little gal is growing.

  13. Oh yeah, that is not an easy decision to make! I know how it is to know that so many people may disagree with your decision. We've decided that I'm going to try and work as a nurse with our baby, and I've had a little bit of positive and a TON of negative feedback from people. But, same thing - we feel like we're doing what's right for our family and what's right for us. Of COURSE I would love to be a stay at home mom, but that's not the best decision for us right now with Kevin in med school. I'm glad you found the decision that is best for you! Now the trick is to try and ignore all of the naysayers... it's hard to do sometimes. :) Good luck, so excited for all of the changes coming your way!

  14. Hurray!!!!! I am so excited for you! I can't believe they'll let you stay enrolled at only 1 credit hour. That's amazing! I am sooo jealous I can't wait to go back to school.